While working out on the elliptical the other day, I listened to Krista Tippett, the host of American Public Media's radio show, On Being, interview MIT professor Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together, about the way our lives on the web affect our teenagers and our families. Turkle, an expert in psychoanalysis and the way humans interact psychologically with evolving forms of technology, spoke on the way today's virtual world is altering our relationships with one another. Among the many insightful comments Turkle makes in this thoughtful and provocative interview, one stood out for me as a parent and as an educator. Turkle said, "Just because we grew up with the internet, we think that the internet is grown up."
Time and again, we watch teenagers live their lives, express themselves, and and engage in relationships on the web as if it's a finished product. In the process, they remain ignorant of, or choose to ignore, the potential ramifications of their actions in cyberspace. (For those who think that this phenomenon is unique to adolescents, see former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner.) Young men and young women, who are "works in progress" themselves, play games, make movies, and update their Facebook pages with an immediacy that can be frightening; what they once might have whispered to one friend or told to a couple of buddies is now broadcast to hundreds of "friends." In the process, what might have been meant for only a few to hear, now goes viral beyond their furthest expectations. I sometimes wish that adolescents would heed the advice that Daphne Zuniga's anal-retentive character, from Rob Reiner's 1985 movie The Sure Thing, gives to the slacker played by John Cusack, "Spontaneity has its own place and time."
With all of the changes in American society over the past one hundred years, adolescence remains the time when young men and young women form their identities and find out who they are. To do this, they need time in a safe environment that allows them to try out different selves and decide if they like the person they were on that day.
Unfortunately, many teens' sense of privacy has withered to the point that they share whatever they think or feel for all to judge. In a January 2010 speech, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said that "the rise of social networking means that privacy is no longer a social norm." While some may argue that teens still value privacy but in a different way than adults do, we see repeatedly what occurs when adolescents share feelings and thoughts that they may have wished, in retrospect, to have kept to themselves. They seem to have forgotten that there are things we think and things we say.
Katie Hafner's outstanding book, Where Wizards Stay Up Late:The Origins of the Internet, traces the roots of the web to the 1950's and 1960's and the Defense Department's Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA) and the ARPANet. It's a fascinating story of scientists engaged in continuous research with no idea where their ideas would lead. A half century later, the internet plays a ubiquitous role in our lives that may be far beyond those researchers' wildest dreams. However, like those scientists, we still have no idea where the web is going. Similarly, our teenagers are engrossed in the all-encompassing and crucial work of researching and discovering who they are, and they have no clue who they will be one day. The web is here to stay and to expect our children not to have virtual lives is not realistic. However, as parents and educators, we can join together and help them develop into healthy and happy young adults, in a way that allows them to make mistakes with repercussions that may not be quite so public and life-altering as they currently can be.
