Helping Children to Have a Sense of Perspective

           

         At this time of year, it is traditional to say thank you for the many gifts we have; however, this can sometimes be difficult for adolescents when they feel anxious or overwhelmed.  When a teen, or an adult for that matter, sees little that is going well, it can be challenging to see the good in his/her world. As you may have read in a recent newsletter, we are repeating a talk, “Anxiety and the Teenage Brain,” given by Kate Davis, Director of Middle School Student Development, on Thursday, December 4, 6-7:30 p.m. in the Gerald and Betty Ford Library on campus.  This talk on anxiety and adolescents received such overwhelming positive feedback from the attendees of the Parent Coffee on November 6 that we felt it important to offer another opportunity to hear her message.  If you did not attend the earlier session, we encourage you to come.

A Bosque parent recently sent me an article from a website, Earth: We Are One, entitled “29 Signs You’re Doing Just Fine (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It),” by Marc Chernoff.  You may find it worthwhile to share these signs with your children or post this list somewhere around the house as a reminder.  As Chernoff says, “Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to keep things in perspective and deal with them.”  He then proceeds to list 29 reasons to feel good about one’s life, even if things are not perfect:

1. You have the freedom to live your life the way you want to live it.
2. You are courageously walking your own path.
3. You are making difficult decisions and acting upon them.
4. You are working hard for people and causes you believe in.
5. You are choosing to be happy in your own way.
6. You see obstacles in front of you because you are not settling.
7. You have made the best of some tough situations.
8. You have come a long way.
9. You haven’t quit and you aren’t planning on it.
10. You do your best to accept what you can’t change.
11. You aren’t scared to fail forward.
12. You haven’t let fear get in your way.
13. You still believe in the possibilities that lie ahead.
14. You dare to dream every day.
15. You have a vision for your future.  
16. You haven’t let the judgments of others stop you.
17. You are doing what you can with what you have.
18. You are doing your best to provide value.
19. You go out of your way to help people.
20. You aren’t scared to express your love, openly.
21. You continue to make a difference.
22. You have enough right now to live comfortably.
23. You haven’t let rampant materialism get the best of you.
24. You are reasonably healthy.
25. Your relationships are less dramatic than they used to be.
26. You have escaped from some very toxic relationships.  
27. You know deep down that you are not alone.
28. You have great people in your life who are standing beside you.
29. You have a home.  

Our children may feel that not all of these “signs” are true every minute of every day, but they can probably say that many apply to their lives. From what I know of the young men and women of Bosque, these rules do pertain to them and they describe what I see them experiencing on a daily basis. Reading this list when they are feeling down may help them see that their situations are not as bad as they may think.  In no way do I mean to make light of the difficult situations our students face; they can be truly challenging. Nevertheless, I hope that as our children grow older, they develop a sense of perspective and the resilience to handle challenges as they occur; and they allow their successes, rather than their problems, to define them.