Over the summer, a colleague sent the blog, “10 Truths Middle Schoolers Should Know,” by Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis. I wanted to share it with you as we start the year and our students once again encounter the social milieu of middle and high school. While the lessons Kampakis shares in this piece may seem particularly germane to middle school students, the wisdom of her advice can apply to people in high school, college, and beyond. (I think how helpful these lessons could be for our son who starts college in a little over a week.)
These are Ms.Kampakis’ “10 Truths”:
Truth #10: Today's most awkward moments will be tomorrow's funniest memories. Keep a sense of humor whenever possible.
Part of our work requires helping young men and women develop a sense of perspective and realize that they are neither the only nor the first person to experience what they are going through; we don’t want to minimize their feelings, but we do want them to be aware that they will get through this particular incident, and they will be ok.Truth #9: You don't want to peak in middle school (or high school or college, for that matter).
Think Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days.” We need to share with our children that popularity in of itself is not necessarily a laudable goal, and they will be better off aiming for goals that are more meaningful in the short and long term.Truth #8:Technology makes it easier than ever to ruin relationships and reputations.
Here again, this is not merely a lesson for teens as the daily news reminds us of another politician or celebrity who’s learned the hard way that there are things you just don’t tweet or post.Truth #7: Surrounding yourself with good company is imperative.
As one of our alumni who was pursuing a master’s in aviation engineering told our upper school students years ago, “Who you hang out with in college is who you’ll be. If you want to be a scholar, hang out with scholars; if you want to be a partier, hang out with partiers.”
Truth #6: What makes you different is what makes you great.
Speaking with alumni over this summer, it seems that our students have always appreciated the freedom at Bosque to be who they are, and this has enabled them to carve out their path after high school with a sense of confidence and inner strength.Truth #5: It's OK not to have your life planned out. It's OK if you haven't discovered your "thing."
Here again, this lesson has applicability after middle school. A friend and I were recently discussing how difficult life can be in our 20’s when people feel like they’re supposed to have everything figured out, but they don’t.
Truth #4: Your uniform is not your identity.
I sincerely appreciate how Bosque students allow each other to have a multiplicity of identities and not be pigeonholed. This allows them to access all parts of their personalities and grow into multi-dimensional young adults.Truth #3: Applause can be misleading. You can make a huge mistake and still get cheered on wildly.
One component of our helping middle and high school students grow into healthy young adults is teaching them how to nurture a sense of integrity. This will enable them to ascertain which successes are true versus those that are ephemeral.Truth #2: There's a difference between helpful advice and criticism that holds you back. Be careful who you listen to.
Teachers and administrators at Bosque have been discussing how to help students create positive self-talk so they know when they’re headed in a positive direction or when it may be time to re-direct.Truth #1: You're AWESOME.
On this first day of school when we have the opportunity to begin anew, let’s remind our students that they have the potential and the promise to do what they wish and become who they want to be. Of course there may be difficult moments along the way, but if we as the adults in their lives help them to develop resilience and inner strength, they can and will do great things in school and beyond.
Middle school can be a turbulent time; however, at Bosque, we want to avoid the all-too- common trap of viewing this time as an anxiety-ridden three-year phase to be endured. There is an enormous amount of exciting growth that occurs during 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. If the adults, especially parents/guardians and teachers, in our students’ worlds approach these years as dynamic and exhilarating rather than as perpetually tumultuous and pain-filled, we can help them enjoy this stage of their lives. Maybe part of this process requires us to remember some of the good things that happened to us during middle school, so we approach our children’s experience with anticipation rather than dread. So often, popular media portrays the middle school years as an unrelenting period of social rejection, embarrassment, and confusion; and there is some of that. But as we adults know, there’s also a great deal of enjoyment and energizing intellectual development happening, and that’s what we should celebrate.
